Launching our kids into the big wide world!
I have heard this statement regarding parenting numerous times when my children were young – “They grow so fast—hang in there, enjoy every moment!”. Throughout their lives I thought I had prepared my children to live independently (at least perhaps as far as handing down the family brownie recipe!). However, when the day came to launch my eldest into the big wide world, it was quickly apparent that I was not really that ready or prepared to let go. It was painful and probably one of the hardest parenting jobs thus far! I learnt a lot, and so with our second son having just left for Uni too, I wanted to share some of my thoughts.
God gives us our children, but a mere 18 years later (give or take a few years), after investing time, tears and energy into raising them, it feels like he moves them on - but this is so they can go out and do bigger and better things for His Kingdom. It is an act of faith to let go of each one of these precious gifts He gives to us, and entrust them into God’s hands. Knowing that God is always present does bring us comfort and, whilst these transitions are so hard, they are good for all concerned.
Our children were created for a purpose. He has been preparing them vocationally over their whole lives by giving them a unique blueprint, complete with interests, abilities, experiences, and passions. God has great plans for our children and there is much work to be done. The Apostle Paul reminds us that that we are all “God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Eph. 2:10).
My job as a parent is far from over, but it is now different. Instead of being my child’s primary decision-maker, I need to let them make their own decisions and then live with the consequences. For many young adults, this is the only way they will gain experience, confidence, and wisdom to do so. My new role is as an advisor and someone to provide a safe space to land if they need it.
Everyone’s situation is different. Your child may not be ready to leave when others are. When they are ready, send them out with confidence. Once you adjust to the initial loss, you can look beyond it to graduations, marriages, and grandchildren, which is another adventure in itself. Embrace it!